Chores and Responsibilities

I know that there are a lot of different ways to setup chores for a household. They can be tied to allowances, you can use a chart or some type of sticker/positive rewards system, or maybe they have to complete their chores to be allowed certain privileges like screen time or social activities. Maybe you have a hard time being consistent with enforcing chores or sticking with a particular system, which would be understandable! Parenting is exhausting, and having to always be the enforcement can be one of the main contributors to that exhaustion. Now, I don’t have any special words to say to make your kids listen or make enforcing expectations easier, but I can share with you what works for us (most of the time).

We have a small white board (see picture), that has all of the chores, responsibilities, and meals for the week laid out. We do chores on Saturday morning (as the schedule allows), so we call them Saturday chores. Chores are bigger cleaning duties like vacuuming, dusting, and cleaning windows. When time allows for a slow Saturday morning, everyone is allowed to sleep in until breakfast (which would actually be considered brunch most of the time), however no screens are allowed until the dogs have been fed and taken out. Then, at breakfast, we discuss our plans for the day, remind everyone of their chores, and the expectation is set for when they will be completed, for example, by a certain time or activity or before they can get on their screens. If time doesn’t allow for this on Saturday morning, I try and fit it in on another day of the week when we have more time. We have recently changed our schedule so that we get half our kids every other weekend (the other half are here every weekend), and so our Saturday morning routine only happens every other week. The older boys and the younger boys share bathrooms, so part of their chores is also to clean their personal bathrooms. When it is only 2 of the 4 boys, I try and at least have them clean their bathroom, but I don’t feel it’s fair to make them do chores when the other set aren’t here. Although, I might just need to re-evaluate our system all together to have it fit our new schedule better. We will see…

For responsibilities, these are smaller things that need to be done more regularly than just once a week. Right now we have those set as taking care of the pets, wiping down the table after meals, garbage, and recycling. There is also the unwritten responsibility of emptying the dishwasher. If you go to put something in the dishwasher, and it’s clean, you need to empty it. That is most often turned into a divide and conquer activity as we are usually all getting ready to add something to the dishwasher after a meal or emptying lunch boxes. Whenever one of the written responsibilities needs to be done, it is that person’s responsibility to do it. No push back. No can’t so-and-so do it. No I did that last time. It rotates and everyone shares in the responsibilities that help make our household run and stay neat and tidy. Which brings me to our rewards system. There isn’t one. As a member of this household I feel it is part of taking care of your space and is seen more as an expectation than an additional job to be completed. I could see how incentives could increase productivity, and there would also be an opportunity to teach about budgeting with that, but that just isn’t the focus we put on it. Budgeting is important, but it will come later when they have jobs that make them money that they need to budget but before they enter the world of rent and endless bills.

Lastly, on our board, we have the meals for the week. My husband and I sit down every week (usually) and talk about the schedule, when we have time for more labor intensive meals or need meals with little to no prep time, and any meal requests that have been given. We then make a grocery list around those meals and try to make it to the store just once a week. Now this is usually done on a kid free day (one of the perks we created by having a blended family). I used to do the grocery shopping with all the kids, and I loved having the opportunity to talk to them about different foods, and what items are needed to cook what meals, but our schedule just doesn’t allow for that any more. I’ll talk more about grocery shopping with your kids in a future post.

Anyways, I believe that having your kids be a part of the upkeep of your home is essential for teaching them so many things, from being responsible for their space to feeling like a contributing member of the household. You can start small with just one set of expectations for duties that are most effective for you and your family. Remember, kids love helping, even the older ones, but change can be hard if there haven’t been many expectations in the past. Consistency is key!!

Check my social media for a chart of age appropriate chores. We all do our part to make are house feel like a home with the hope that it stays with them as they move out and start to create a home of their own (eventually).