The Three S’s: Self, Stuff, Space
This rule is about what my children are responsible for. This helps create boundaries for themselves and a sense of responsibility. They are always responsible for themselves, their stuff, and their space. I repeat it to them often as a reminder when they have forgotten to take care of something within that realm. I want it to be a reliable reference in their mind as to where the boundary for things in their care lies. Everything outside of this is negotiable.
This means that they brush their teeth twice a day, take regular showers, eat healthy food all in an effort to take care of themselves. Responsibility for themselves is their main and most important responsibility. They gain the mindset that they are responsible for their bodies and it’s maintenance, not anyone else. It is also not their responsibility to make sure that anyone else is taking care of themselves. They can show care and concern for others, but ultimately the responsibility lies on the individual (unless, of course, that individual isn’t capable of doing it on their own, ex younger children).
Their stuff includes the things in their room, their clothes, their toys, their pets, anything that belongs to them. They are responsible for making sure it is clean (our rule is once someone is 10 years old, they start to do their own laundry), put away, and repaired as needed. If their stuff is a pet, they are responsible for feeding/watering them, picking up after them, and making sure they have a clean environment to live in. If they are too young to be responsible for their pet on their own, they are always involved when a parent cares for them.
Lastly, is their space. This includes our home, and contributing to it’s care through weekly chores and responsibilities. Always leaving a space cleaner than they found it. It also includes the space they occupy in the car or out and about. Such as clearing their place at the table after a meal.
We are a far cry from having this down like clock work. Just this morning one of my kids left the house without brushing their teeth, cups are regularly left on the table, and sometimes I come home after dropping the kids off at school and realize that the dogs should have been fed but weren’t. However, the more consistent I am with it, the clearer the expectation is. The less push back I get when I remind them of their responsibilities. Ultimately, the goal is that they will leave this house with habits that help them be responsible adults and we still have plenty of time to prepare them for that.
